my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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