Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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