I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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