TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize