Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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