i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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