you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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