"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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