did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
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i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
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tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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