Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
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