I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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