Im at strip club and am horny
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
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After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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