i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
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You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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