When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
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I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i think i just lost a toe
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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