He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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