Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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