I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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