I love black thongs
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize