I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
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You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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