I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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