used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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