so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize