i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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