You're my little dorito
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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