I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
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Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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