i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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