I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize