he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
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she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
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I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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