Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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