once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
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I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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