like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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