She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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