I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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