remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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