Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
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I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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