chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize