My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize