Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
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They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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