East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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