i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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