eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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