if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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