My room smells like vodka and shame
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize