I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
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something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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