As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
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I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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