Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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