Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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