I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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