I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize