I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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